My goodness... the days fly by. Another month is almost gone.
I started my budget for November, trying to make everything fit in... starting with most needed. I only have $150 for my personal needs, so that goes fast. I got a notice from Social Security saying they automatically enroll me in Medicare, with a mandatory payment of $134/month, deducted before I see anything. That means I will have $16 to live on if I can't find a way through this economic misery. I have hated the government all my adult life, and now I will die hating the government. I have to wonder at times like these... how will I ever get out of the government pit...
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Today was a strange day. I mostly did household tasks, then watched a news program and a movie before my son and his wife came back. Time just seems to fly away... I never get what I want done. Well, I shouldn't say never, but some days are really hard. I hope to figure out a better way.
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I saw something on Peter Thiel, a new name in my horizon, over the weekend... I think it was that free press documentary. He brings up so many issues that we face. I became aware of an ocean community that he wants to create, outside of the domain of any nation, in international waters. Quite an interesting drawing. I wondered how it would fare in storms on the ocean. I didn't think it looked that sturdy... just from the quick glance they gave of the concept. Later, after thinking about it, I realized it would be a learning experience for him... you can't get away from government. It would become a new "state" and have to create its own government... rules to live by. Funding issues will need to be addressed, so some form of taxation. We all want to get away from the government because it is too intrusive. It wasn't meant to be that way. Freedom is slowly being lost to government controls. That is what we want to escape.
I think about all these issues all the time. It is also part of my End Time search for answers. How will Christians survive the hostility of government, and militaries, and terrorists, and disgruntled sinners... and family, friends, workplaces. The future is going to be hard for Christians, and probably Jews. I am not really sure how Jews will be affected yet. They are still waiting for their Messiah, it may be the Antichrist will be the one that fools them. I thought of that one day when I remembered that the Temple, which will be rebuilt, becomes the place of desecration. Miracles. The "miracles" of technology are looking more like the fake miracles that are prophesied to occur. Especially with wireless taking over.
In hearing about Peter Thiel and PayPal, which is fast becoming an international money system, and the issue of homosexual activism in his heart, and the ability to financially destroy his enemies, and support what he desires... the New World Order looks really well funded and Christians very underfunded. It always makes me wonder about GOD, and why things go like this... and my own ministry desires all these years.
Then I saw his face in a news item about Trump. He is just a human being trying to find his way in this world... like the rest of us. He is in a different "group" of the world than I, but he is still part of the world and trying to find his way through this life, looking for love, needing GOD and not knowing it. It really reminded me about all the billionaires we know about. We see their money, they look for humanity.
It is a timeless reality... we just don't think about it when we read the Bible. We want the wealth of Job, of Abraham, of the rich young ruler, of David, of anyone who has wealth in the Bible... we don't see the details behind the money they have. I remember when I was reading about Job and realized he took care of EVERY fatherless child and widow in his community, as well as sacrificed continuously for his children's sins. I have been so amazed by that ever since. We don't see the responsibilities that GOD attaches to our wealth. Christians with money often consider it "theirs" as a sign of God's approval. Sometimes it isn't God that is doing the blessing. Remember how Satan tempted Christ after he was fasting for 40 days.
In the early days of my searching, I would hear testimonies of people giving all of their paychecks to the Lord as an act of faith. I have never had that kind of faith. I want to give more after I have enough to survive on. Right now, the tithe is all I can handle.
I also want to note that we only hear about the blessings of these people who testify like that, we don't hear about the hardships they go through to find their way through those acts of faith. GOD is good, He does bless, but I think He blesses for a purpose... like caring for the fatherless and widows (Job). I have often thought that the gifts of the wise men were God's way of providing for the needs of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus as they tried to survive Herod and others... going to new places at a moment's notice, needing basic survival options like housing, food, etc.
I'm not sure how God decides on blessings, and if some who are blessed are kind of responsible through their actions for some of the process (manipulating people), but I keep trying to understand. I have been seeking GOD for a long time for Working Together, and for other ministry efforts before that. I wonder what GOD is trying to say by the things I have encountered along the way. I know what I want to do is right, and good, and godly, and necessary, but not why it has been so hard to find a way to fund it.
Today I saw a short part of a program with Franklin Graham in it, dealing with opposition in a foreign country. He considers the opposition a sign of ministry importance. It has been a thought of mine, too. It took some time to pray through the reality of opposition to godly dreams. I had to decide if it was a NO from God, normal in Christian activities, or just a sign to WAIT for God to open the doors... and what I was suppose to do in the meantime.
That is what the End Times are... growing hatred for God, Christians, ministries, goodness, etc. How that hatred manifests itself is also changing. No other time in history has had the unknown reality of the internet and technology. Because of the internet, we won't always see our enemies in their human forms, or even know how to fight hidden attacks. It is something I don't know how to deal with, especially the growing internet attacks against innocent people. I continue to pray about these things. Everything in our survival is becoming attached to technology, digital realities that can disappear in a micro-second. I often wonder what it will mean to the world when the Antichrist gets here.
There is a part in the Bible I read one day, and I haven't been able to find it again. I normally read the King James, but I don't remember if I was reading in that Bible at the time. Maybe you can help me find it again. It was in the Old Testament, talking about the end of time, and about how a third of the earth's inhabitants were destroyed, naming 5000 as being destroyed, which would mean there were only 15,000 human beings alive at the time. It was a frightening realization... and has made me wonder what would happen to reduce the population of planet Earth to 15,000 people.
We think nuclear blasts... but the Bible also talks about every mountain disappearing, every island disappearing. The rivers dry up over in the lands of the Bible... which one, I can't remember... but I think it is the one that the Jews crossed over and left a pillar of stones in the middle... I think it will be found then and be more proof that GOD helped the Jews cross the river out of Egypt. It's been awhile since I read all this, but I remember thinking that GOD always leaves a witness. That would be something GOD would do.
I have thought that taking all the oil and gas and water out of the earth is leaving empty spaces down there... which is becoming our earthquakes up here. Not knowing what is down under the ground means the mountains and islands could one day fall into the earth's empty spaces.
I have thought that we are polluting the world so badly that our actions will destroy the water table, which we depend on for our survival as a planet. We can't make clean water... we can try to find a way to take out the impurities, but in an environmental catastrophe we wouldn't have that kind of equipment readily available...
The Bible talks about a kind of "rebuilding" of the earth for 1000 years. Maybe those very few people I discovered (above) will be the ones who make another world of people before the final judgment. None of us really knows how the prophecies are going to unfold in real life... we know they are true, but not how or when they come true.
I'm planning to restudy all these End Time details so I will let you know if I find different theories as I do that.
We need to remember that no one has the final truth about every bit of the Bible. Some things are easy to see, others are things we have to discover, study, pray about, and trust GOD for.
I hope GOD will provide for Working Together soon. I see the needs growing every day... and when the harder persecutions come it will be too late. I hate to see suffering... needless suffering... and wanting to find a way to lessen it or end it. If no one else wants to do these things, I do.
In Christ,
Deborah Martin
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May God hear my plea and provide for Working Together's financial foundations. Amen.