Hi, again... just checking in for now. Been thinking about a lot of things and haven't been doing any writing, posting, sharing... much.
We start with such faith that GOD will provide for our needs. Then we discover our idea of "needs" is not always His idea of what we need. Somewhere in the life where seeking and finding doesn't seem to happen, we wonder where GOD is taking us.
I have been remembering so many hard times, failed efforts, prayers, seeking, trying to move forward. At this point in life, the question is how much more time do I have... how will I continue without GOD's interventions in my needs... and who will GOD want to continue this END TIME effort.
I can't really compare WT to anything in the past, but the history I remember and the life that I have lived, tells me it is important. Why hasn't GOD provided for it? I wish I knew.
At one point I thought GOD chose me as a female because the Bible tells us there will be more women than men, and that women will be in distress. We don't know when that happens in time, but we know it happens. (The part where many women want men - possibly any man - to marry them. In other cultures this is critical to the survival of women.)
Then all my struggles with poverty made me see America in a different way... and the church here. It also showed me the great NEED for a different kind of preparing.
My radio shares a constant flow of Christian programs that believe a Rapture will happen before any believers have to suffer any Tribulation events, that so many billions will not have to die by the Antichrist, which really goes against anything in the Bible.
My computer seems detached from the internet... making any efforts I make seem futile. No comments or reactions from topics that normally bring out the "thought police" and angry activists who hate GOD and anything that exists about Him. No Christian interactions either. It's beyond my ability to deal with.
It's been a lot of years.
How will we survive without each other?
I don't know.
I just keep seeing the films about the Jews being moved into their own section of town and then forced into trains and then forced into prison camps or killed. The virus shutdown has shown me how fast our lives can be destroyed.
We just are not even thinking about how to care for all the Christians in our world.
I guess I am seeking GOD about what to do next.
It's been a long hard prayer, and I haven't found the answers yet.
My regular life is built around surviving... food, bills, chores, staying alive, surviving, looking for answers. Every day, every month, every year.
We all are trying to survive. It makes preparing for a difficult future out of reach. I think the lockdowns have shown us how fragile our finances are. I wonder if there is a purpose behind all this struggle.
I wonder what GOD is trying to tell us.
Let me know what you think all this government tyranny is about.
Oh, yes, on the personal list, I have also been thinking about my Bucket List lately. One of my goals for 2021 is to make a list of places I want to go to on my way to NYEve at NYCity... and figure out how much money I will need for that... personal income, not WT income. I am hoping for a 2023 New Year's celebration, GOD willing.
I am also still looking for 20 ART Patrons ($15/month) and 10 JEWELRY Patrons ($25/month), plus millions of General Support Patrons at $5/month.
Think about helping me reach my personal goals. Thanks.