23 August 2017

Today was a busy day... and I could probably stay up for hours doing more, but it is nearly time to end this day.

I watched the grout get put on the backspash for my kitchenette... the grout changed the look of the backsplash, it makes a big difference in the effect.  It made a big mess, and still needs more cleaning up tomorrow.  I wondered how it was done, so watching the process was good for me.  Seeing how things are done takes the fear of doing them away.  Just watching it get done helped me to see ways I would do things different if I install backspash in the future.

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Somehow I ended up watching a You Tube video later in the day and wound up spending hours with art and crafting lessons on some projects I plan to do.  If I wasn't so tired, I might stay up and try them out... I think tomorrow would be better.

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Six letters mailed today... short, but part of my ongoing efforts to connect again with people in the family and old friends.  It is a challenge to go back into the past and find out what everyone is doing.  I don't seem to get any responses for my efforts, so I always wonder if my letters actually reach their intended recipient.  Writing monthly letters, via snail mail, is my plan for this year.  By the time next year gets here, I should have the details figured out. 

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Trusting God for the details about the changes we make is a bigger commitment than most people ever know. 

In my earlier years, I discovered we assume way too much!  We think the world should do what we think it should, or God should always move on our behalf because we need Him to.  When our expectation doesn't happen, and we have to deal with the consequences, we blame something other than us.  I can still remember my response to some of the unexpected struggles of my life... I assumed things were one way, and I assumed wrong.  After a few of those events, I decided I better stop assuming and start checking out the details of things that mattered, things that caused consequences that messed up our lives.

I'm too tired to remember them right now, but I remember how I had a big "aha!" moment about it.  I guess it would be like assuming we are going to heaven because we are good people, when the reality is that the Bible says you have to do specific things to get into heaven.  The only way to know for sure what GOD says is to read the Bible yourself.  After that change of mind, I didn't assume so much, I tried to check things out, to make sure my expectations were right.

We often suffer the choices of other people, becase of things that are beyond our control.  We learn real faith when we leave the details to GOD, when we wait, when we trust, when we suffer, when we wonder why.  Faith is a very hard commitment... and it has to be renewed every day.  Realizing that other people suffer because of me as well as me suffering for other people was a hard time in my growth.  It has all kinds of little side issues... like my kids, my work, my survival.

In my growing understanding of the Bible and GOD, I began to realize that we can't retaliate for the wrongs others do... or we become guilty of new sins that God has to judge.  It is very hard to let our "rights" go by, and trust that God knows how to deal with the situation.  We can see how Jesus modeled that attitude, but not how we can do it ourselves.  The justice we want for ourselves doesn't always happen in a moment, sometimes we never see it.  It's the "turning the other cheek" attitude, or the statement of Christ on the cross... to forgive them because they don't understand the enormity of what they are doing... and "they" were people who thought they were doing right, protecting their faith, obeying their god.

I discovered how hard it is to know the difference between some rights and some wrongs... and what consequences were needed.  It became the best solution to leave those details to GOD and just keep plugging along.  I had enough of my own problems to keep me busy...  I didn't need to be the guardian of the world.

So, trusting God for more and more became my choice.  It is still a learning process as each problem tests my faith and the needs I have.  The past helps me to be stronger in today, and I hope to rely on a stronger faith tomorrow.  I wish it was easy, but it's not.  Being a Christian is hard, and the best thing that happened to me.

I hope you discover all these things for yourself.

In Christ,
Deborah Martin

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May God help you find the answers to the hurts in your life... to trust in His wisdom, His power, His love, His mercy, His Plan for you.  May you learn more about Him as each day passes.  May you grow strong in Him and always win the battle of Faith in your life.  May you forgive others as you forgive yourself, and understand that we all have hidden pain... we all suffer, we all need help.  May you find the humanity in every person, and be able to forgive yourself.  May we all keep getting better, and become the best we can be.  Amen.