19 April, 2021

FAITH :: Prayer is not a fast or simple thing...

I am amazed it is already halfway through APRIL already.  I have been looking for GOD's answers to my questions and my needs, not doing a lot of the activities I need to do.  I don't know what the future will hold... I tend to work on surviving each day.

TBN has been focusing on God's Provisions for all of us... them included, and other ministries and families struggling because of the lockdowns.  I decided this year to send in the prayer form in their mailings... since February I think, but maybe I started in January.  I don't normally do this.  I want to see if it makes a difference.

This year I am also trying to increase my Monthly Giving Project amounts.  I started it at $10 a month, giving to different ministries each month, and doubling up for Christmas needs.  It has been very interesting for me to push myself to give more out of my small income.  I evaluate my budget each month and see what I can stretch into.

I have tithed since I made the commitment to test GOD and see what happened... in poverty, with kids, on Welfare, homeless, and more.  It's quite a test.  I kept trying to decide how GOD was working in my life in providing for my needs and honoring my faith.  When you are homeless, you really wonder what it means to enjoy GOD's promise to provide.  I searched the Bible so many times, pondered the things I knew and what was happening in my life.  I can't say there was the answers I wanted to find, but there were also provisions to get us through the days and the weeks and the months.  

I wanted to win the big lottery prize.  GOD provided through mission meals and thrift stores and church benevolence... through food stamps and food boxes... by finding ways to stretch my resources, and by enduring times I didn't know what to do or where to go.

I could share a lot of bad stories, too... but I won't do that here.  I learned from all of this and used it to apply to Working Together and the future of the Body of Christ -- if I ever am able to create anything worthwhile.  The burdens of people in need, everywhere in the world, are huge, and no one is prepared to help everyone.  That is part of why I wanted to build WT into a Christian Resource.

My prayers for this year about WT have been heavy on my life so far.  I shared on my WT homepage about finding workable options for building its finances and having to pray about if they are the right way to proceed.  I haven't found the right answers yet.  

I have been waiting on GOD to provide for so long I need to review the entire plan I created and see if it is the best one for now.  I am trying to find the best path for WT to live beyond me as a business/ministry for those who will exist after I am gone.  I am wondering what will happen if I die before I get all these things legalized, but then I remember GOD is the One in charge and it is His Ministry to build.  Faith is hard when GOD doesn't do what we think He should be doing.  :-)

I guess I just wanted to check in with the world and let you know I am still here and still praying.

We don't always get instant answers from God on our questions to Him.  

In the harder times I remember the saying that GOD never gets here too early or too late... His Plans always require timing... and we have to depend on that.

I wish I could help everyone who has needs, but even WT won't be able to do that.  My commitment is to meet as many needs as possible with the resources GOD provides... right now that isn't much, but it will be more if GOD decides to provide for this work.

Pray for me and GOD's blessings on WT for all of us.


Deborah Martin


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